YOU can do it!

I grew up trying to live out the Golden Rule: “Treat others the way YOU want to be treated.” To that end, my sacrifice for others often came with an expectation of reciprocity.

The reality is others may or may not treat you as you want to be treated. Furthermore, what if you don’t treat yourself well? In my pursuit of this rule, I was coming up empty.  Why?  I was looking for a savior.  It’s our nature as human beings to find refuge.  Every story containing a heroic protagonist always involves good triumphing over evil.  From video games to movies, everyone is looking for a savior.  Most have a distorted and self-absorbed understanding of this “savior”, but the concept holds true.

Alcohol.  Drugs.  Relationships.  Money.  Power.  Status.  Personality Tests.  Astrology.  Fitness.  Vanity.  Clothing.  Travel.  I tried everything to save myself—anything to numb personal problems, the hardships of life, and deep-rooted insecurities.  I wanted to be perfect.  I tried to live up to this idolized image of success in every facet of my life.

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Enter anxiety.  Enter insomnia.  Enter depression.  Enter darkness.

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1)  YOU are loved by the God who made you

2)  YOU are enough the way you are

3)  YOU are more than your past mistakes

4)  YOU are more than your current burdens

5)  YOU are more than your future worries

As recently as April 2022, I didn’t believe any of the above points.  Most days, I didn’t want to live in the light I was raised in by my supportive family. I was physically present, but emotionally and mentally unavailable to those around me. I was not bringing the best version of myself to the workplace. I wanted rest.  I wanted to give up. I wanted to be fired.

Instead of turning to medication, I took a sabbatical from work.  I decided to say no to the next client at work to work on myself.  I decided to say no to the next vacation with friends to confront my deep fear of being alone with my thoughts.  I decided to stop caring about what other men thought of me and went to therapy.

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Enter Jesus.  Enter reading The Bible.  Enter prayer and meditation.  Enter journaling.

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Everyone is looking for a savior.  However, because we live in a sinful world, we are prone to make a savior in our own image so that s/he acts, thinks, speaks, and saves how we want.  We desperately hold onto anything in this life that is good and brings us joy.  Why?  Because we live in a world of pain, suffering, heartache, trials, temptations, and death.  None of which was part of the original design by God.  All of these afflictions are merely the effects of sin.

This past Sunday, July 17, 2022, I was baptized in Lake Michigan.  In baptism, the individual being baptized affirms with God that he is a sinner (confession), that he is turning from his sin (repentance), and that he accepts the grace of God poured out through his Son (faith).  Baptism is a public confession of your faith in, and commitment to, Jesus Christ. 

God tells us that He is the only savior (Isaiah 43:11).  God is the only God, and there is no other (Isaiah 45:5).  God promises a savior to deliver His people throughout the Old Testament and manifests His promise in Jesus Christ (Matthew 1:21).  Jesus says He is the only way, the only truth, and the only life—no one can get to the Father except through Him (John 14:6).  I’ll never be enough, I’m a sinner in a broken world, but by His wounds I’m healed (Isaiah 53:5-6). Because of this promise, I’ll never be the same.  I may experience anxiety, insomnia, or depression in the future, but my God will always help me through it (1 Corinthians 10:13). I refuse to let my future be shaped by the shackles of my past.

Depression and suicide rank as leading causes of death among men.  With that, men are far less likely to seek mental health treatment than women.  By the end of 2025, I will start a nonprofit to help destigmatize men’s mental health.  Why? Because it’s time to break the negative stigma around vulnerability as it relates to manhood. Please reach out individually if YOU would like to support.